What needs to be repaired

Pastor Meyer’s Sermon

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Grace, mercy and peace be to you from God our heavenly Father and from our risen Lord and Savior, Jesus, our Christ.

Now believe it or not, this may come as a shock to some of you but I was not always the model child growing up. You see, my teenage years were especially difficult for my dad. We often would have arguments and the arguments usually surrounded this idea that I knew more than my dad and my dad, well, he was just plain clueless.

And it was during these arguments that were particularly difficult but there was one argument that sticks in my mind. And it was not so much the content of what we were arguing about but it was more of how the argument actually ended. You see, my dad and I were arguing and, in the midst of the argument, I got very angry and I hit the wall in the house. And when I hit the wall, I was surprised to see that my hand actually went into the wall and then when I took my hand out of the wall, there was a big hole in the wall. And it was at that time that my dad and I realized we had a problem. The problem wasn’t so much that the hole was right there at eye level and it wasn’t so much a problem that it was in a very noticeable place in the house. But it was Christmas Eve and we were going to be having family and friends coming over in a couple of hours for a Christmas dinner. And the question became, “How are we going to fix this hole?” Well, in my immaturity, I just took off. I left the house, left my dad to take care of the hole. A little bit later when I came back, I looked to see what my dad had done and he had taken a picture and had put it over the hole. You could no longer see the hole anymore but, you know, I knew. I knew there was a hole behind that picture that needed to be fixed. Not only that, I knew there was a hole in my dad’s and my relationship that, too, needed to be fixed. There were two holes that needed to be repaired.

With Christmas just right around the corner, we’re going to be spending time with family and friends and maybe with some of those family and friends, we have holes in relationships because we haven’t seen eye to eye or maybe there has been an argument in the past. Maybe what we’ve done before is to do what my dad did, to put that picture over the hole to cover it up, to pretend that it’s not there, to go about our day and spending our time with them as just getting through and not talking about whatever that argument was or whatever that situation or whatever that challenge is that you have with that person.

Well, this morning, Jesus is calling us to change our way of thinking. When we look at holes in relationships, not to look at them as something that we need to hide, something that we need to ignore. Rather, He wants us to look at those holes in relationships as opportunities, opportunities to go to that person and to repair, to fix the hole.

You see, Jesus is all about relationships. One hundred and twenty-two times in the gospel is showing Jesus having a one-on-one relationship with another person. He believes in relationships and how important they are and here, in our reading, He starts out talking about murder. He even quotes what the Old Testament says about murder, do not murder. And then He tacks on a little explanation of what the people of that day were saying that meant. They said if you murder, if you actually kill someone, then you would be subject to judgment. But then Jesus goes on and He gives His take on it. He says, “I myself say that if you are angry with your brother, you will receive that same judgment.” It doesn’t have to be a dead body on the ground but it can be a relationship as full of holes laying on the ground.

Jesus was concerned about our relationships. And that’s why He goes on to talk about, “If you call your brother racca,” I’ve been waiting all week to talk about racca, racca meaning empty headed or an imbecile or if you go on and talk about someone calling your brother a fool, what you’re doing is you’re punching holes in the relationships. And Jesus knows that it’s important for us to work on our relationships with each other. Because if we don’t, it can affect our relationship with God. That’s why He goes on and talks about if we come to the altar and we give a gift to God, at that moment, we remember a brother has something against us, we need to go and take care of that problem first and then come back and finish giving the offering. Because He knows that those broken relationships, those relationships we have holes in can serve as a distraction for us. How many times have we come to worship and maybe had an argument the night before with a spouse? Or maybe you had a tiff with your kids. And while you’re sitting here in the pew in church and you’re trying to worship, your mind gets distracted and you start thinking about that argument or that relationship that has a hole in it. Jesus wants us to go, take care of that problem first because He knows it can affect our relationship with God.

The bible is very clear on how we can go about fixing that hole, repairing the hole in that relationship. And the first thing is that we take an opportunity to look at ourselves, to see what role did we play in the conflict. It may seem small compared to what the other person did but still, in every conflict, as the old adage says, it takes two to tango, well, we had something to bring to the table. Jesus talks about that in Matthew 7 where He says, “First, take the plank out of your own eye and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” In other words, another translation says, “Take the 2x4 out of your eye before you can see what’s in your brother’s eye.” What we need to do is focus on what have we added to the conflict. Maybe it’s the way we responded. Maybe it’s the tone of voice we used. Maybe it’s the fact that we refused to listen to the person. Maybe we, too, just left the situation.

Whatever it is, we need to take in stock what did we add to the conflict because, in doing that, we do two things. Number one, we humble ourselves when we go to that other person, we’re not going with a self-righteous attitude but no, we humble ourselves and we understand that we had a hand in this conflict. The second thing is that it shows a message to the other person. That message is the relationship is more important, repairing, saving the relationship is more important than actually winning the argument. So starting there, realizing where you fit in the conflict.

And then we can move on to talking with the other person about the tiff, the argument, the situation, the issues. And Paul tells us a little bit about how we can handle that in Galatians 6 where he says, “Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently but watch yourself or you also may be tempted.” When we go to the other person, we use gentle words. We talk to the person about how we feel. We try to understand how the other person feels. The last thing we want to do when there is a fire is to use kerosene and just throw it on the fire in an effort to put it out. No, what you do is use gentle words, not harsh words but to point out lovingly the situation, the issues you may have. And then to be attentive, too, to what the issues that person may have with you.

And then the third thing we move into, once reconciliation has taken place, we then forgive. The bible says we forgive just as God has forgiven us. As we mend that hole in the relationship, we forgive the other person. I want to talk a little bit about forgiveness because if we forgive the way God forgives, it’s not we forgive and forget. That’s not what God does. God forgives and then He chooses not to remember what has happened before. The same for us, when we forgive, we choose not to bring it up again later. But when we forgive, we truly forgive just like God has forgiven us.

Now when I walked into the room and I saw the picture hanging up on the wall, I had to chuckle a little bit because this is not the picture but this is similar to the picture that my dad used to cover the hole. He used a picture of Jesus and I knew when I saw that picture, there was still the hole behind the picture. But I also knew that with Jesus in the picture, the hole that was in my dad’s and my relationship could be fixed. And we fixed it. We also fixed the hole that was in the wall.

So maybe this Christmas season going into the New Year, with Jesus in the picture, maybe we can change the way we think and take an opportunity to mend, to fix that hole in a relationship you might have with another person. Amen.

Copyright 2007 Gloria Dei Lutheran Church