Family Values: Movie Night

Pastor Burcham’s Sermon

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Grace, mercy and peace to you from God our Father and our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen.

The Disney movie, Toy Story, I think, has a lot of applications for families and there are a lot of things that can be learned from that. If you didn’t have a chance to see the film or if you’ve never seen the movie, allow me just a couple of minutes to give you a brief synopsis of what the movie is about.

The movie begins in this little boy’s room. He’s probably 8 or 9 years old. His name is Andy. And although the movie begins in Andy’s room, the movie really isn’t so much about Andy as it is about Andy’s toys. You see, as soon as Andy leaves the room, the toys all spring into action. They start interacting with one another. They even have a little staff meeting to get organized so they can be the best possible toys for Andy they can be. They have a leader of their group, which is Woody. Now Woody is a cowboy action figure and he has the coveted position of being Andy’s favorite toy. In fact, Woody gets to reside on Andy’s bed and lean against Andy’s pillow. No other toy has that honor.

Everything is going well in the room. The toys are cooperating with one another and then, all of a sudden, it’s Andy’s birthday. All the toys get nervous because they’re worried that if he gets a new toy, a better toy, that might replace one of them and they may end up in the attic, or worse yet, in the garage sale. Everyone’s worried, that is, except Woody because he’s been Andy’s favorite toy since Kindergarten.

Well, the birthday party goes off without a hitch until the very end. They bring in one last present and, sure enough, it’s a toy, not just any toy, though, a really, really cool toy, the toy of the day. It is a Buzz Lightyear. Pretty soon, Buzz now comes to live in the room with the rest of the toys and it doesn’t take too long before, all of a sudden, Andy is playing with Buzz more than he is with Woody. And then pretty soon, Buzz is sort of hobnobbing with the rest of the toys and that’s kind of when the trouble begins. It finally comes to a head when, all of a sudden, Woody is taken off of the bed and put into a toy box and then Buzz resides on Andy’s bed. That’s really when the story gets interesting.

Like I say, there are lots of applications that can be drawn from the movie but the one we want to focus in on this morning is that disunity in the family can destroy the family. That means we need to seek to have unity in our family or to reunite our family. There’s no doubt that disunity destroys. Disunity can tear apart a family, whether it’s an argument, a disagreement, some jealousy between two members, a rift, whatever it might be, as soon as that division comes in, trouble always follows.

The first thing that happens? The first thing that happens when you have a division between family members is someone is going to do something that they will live to regret, whether they do it out of anger, whether they do it out of jealousy, whether they do it out of seeking revenge, it doesn’t matter, someone is going to do something that they are going to live to regret.

It happened to Woody in the film. He lived to regret something. You see, things got worse for Woody and Buzz and, all of a sudden, Woody started becoming very, very jealous of Buzz. And then Andy’s mom called up from downstairs and said, “We’re going to the pizza place tonight,” and Andy says, “Can I bring a toy?” And she says, “Okay, but just one toy.” Just one. Andy leaves the room and we see Woody sitting on the side of the bed and now he’s very nervous. He’s upset. Now there would have been no question before, he would have been that one toy but not since Buzz entered into the scene. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. So he’s contemplating what could happen or what he could do. Take a watch and see what happens.

[Film. “Buzz! Oh, Buzz, Buzz Lightyear. Buzz Lightyear, thank goodness. We’ve got trouble.” “Trouble, where?” “Down there. Just down there. A helpless toy is trapped, Buzz.” “Then we’ve no time to lose.” “I don’t see anything.” “He’s there. Just keep looking.” “Ahhhhh!” “Buzz!” “Buzz!” “I don’t see him in the driveway.” “I think he bounced into Sid’s yard.” “Oh, Buzz!”]

Someone’s going to do something that they’re going to live to regret. You see, Woody felt that he was justified in what he was going to do there because, after all, Buzz was horning in on his territory. Now he never intended for him to get booted out the window, never even thought about that. I mean, that’s the worst thing that can happen to a toy is to get smacked out the window and lost forever. He was just going to knock him behind the bookcase so Andy couldn’t find him and then he’d go to the pizza place with him. But you know what, it doesn’t matter what his intention was, the result was he got booted out the window. Someone’s going to do something that they’ll live to regret.

It happens in families all the time. Always an explanation, always a “but I didn’t mean to do it,” or “It was an accident. He just ran into my fist.” “But you don’t understand, he’s been playing with my toys.” “She’s been stealing my clothes.” It doesn’t matter what the reasons are. It doesn’t matter what you intended to have happen, someone is going to do something they’re going to live to regret.

And parents and grandparents aren’t immune either. How many times have you said, “I didn’t mean to be short with the kids.” “Wow, I probably got way too angry over that one.” “I probably shouldn’t have grounded them for that long.” It doesn’t matter what your intention was. It doesn’t matter what the circumstances are. Someone is going to do something they’ll live to regret. That’s what happens in division. That’s what happens when there’s a rift between family members.

The second thing that happens when there’s a rift between family members is that the rest of the family gets drug into it, right? Never, ever is it just between two individuals. Sometimes it’s done intentionally, sometimes it’s unintentional but all the rest of the family, one way or another, is going to get drug into the mix, they’re going to be involved. The scene right after Buzz gets booted out the window, the toys immediately start taking sides. There are a couple of toys that say, “Oh, no, Woody would never, ever boot Buzz out the window.” Meanwhile, you have a whole other set of toys who are ready to push Woody out the window because they’re convinced it was with malicious intent that he smacked him out the window. You see, it was just between Woody and Buzz but now the rest of the family of toys is getting involved and they’re choosing sides.

It happens in our families all the time. Your two sisters are fighting and they both call you and they say, “You won’t believe what she’s doing.” They’re trying to recruit you onto their side. Your brother and your mom and dad are having an argument so Mom and Dad come to you and say, “Would you go to your brother and talk some sense into him? I don’t seem to be able to get through to him anymore.” Divided families. Divorced parents are probably the worst culprits of this. They’re notorious for putting their children in the middle, oh maybe not directly but indirectly with innuendoes and little side comments. Think about that for a moment, will you? You’re asking a child to decide, “Is it Mom or is it Dad?” That is a horrible position to be in. I know because my parents put me in that position. Divided families. They destroy families. And the longer it goes on, the longer the rift, the argument, the disagreement, the jealousy, whatever it is, the worse it gets. Because pretty soon, the thing you started to regret saying or doing, you don’t regret anymore because now you feel completely justified in what you said and what you did. You might even say to yourself, “You know, I should have done that sooner. I should have put him in his place. I should have shown him a thing or two a year or two before I did. And the only way this family’s going to get back together,” you say, “is when that individual comes over here and apologizes.” You can read grovel at my feet in there. “When that individual apologizes, then we can put this family back together.” No, you can’t. No, you can’t. It doesn’t work that way.

There’s only one way to bring a family back together. There’s only one person who can bring the family back together and that’s Christ. You see, we have to know who it is that unites us and it is Christ who unites us. And then we need to know how it is we can be reunited if a rift has taken place and we are reunited when we share Christ’s forgiveness. So it is Christ who unites us and it is Christ’s forgiveness that can reunite us.

We find our unity in Jesus and Him alone. We read a few moments ago from the book of Galatians. It says, “You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourself with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, slaves nor free, male nor female, we are all one in Christ Jesus.” That is the common bond we have, my friends. It’s the common bond we have as the family of believers and it is the common bond that we have in the family that lives in our home. It’s the thing that unites us. It’s the thing that draws us together, the thing that always brings us back together.

There is a great scene in Toy Story and it’s right at the beginning and Buzz is coming down into the room and all the toys are gathered around and Buzz does this. He looks at the bottom of his foot and written on the bottom of his foot is Andy’s name. And all the other toys are gathered around. They’re kind of googling at it. One even says, “Oh, look, it’s in permanent marker.” And then the camera pans back and here’s Woody and Woody picks up his foot and there’s Andy’s name written on his foot. So you’re led to believe that every toy has Andy’s name written on it. All the toys belong to Andy.

Scripture says that God has written His name on your heart. You belong to Him. In baptism, He says, “You belong to me.” He’s written His name on your heart. That’s what unites us. That’s what brings us unity in the family of God and it’s what brings unity to our families at home as well. Now if there is a rift, if there is an argument, if there is a division in the family, the only thing that can truly reunite us is to come back to Christ and reunite through the forgiveness we have in Christ. That’s when families come back together is when they understand and they practice true forgiveness. And I say true forgiveness because it has to be a sincere forgiveness. In true forgiveness, it means, first of all, somebody has got to make the first move. You have two people who are mad at each other. You have two people who have a disagreement, a jealousy, whatever it might be, someone has to make the first move. That means you have to park the pride. It means you have to swallow a great big portion of humble pie and you have to truly go to that person and admit your guilt and truly seek forgiveness. It has to happen on both sides. But it has to be sincere. It has to be genuine.

It’s the same with our relationship with God. If we’re going to be reunited with God, if that relationship is going to be restored, it has to be genuine. It has to be sincere. Psalm 51 puts it this way, “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.” It’s not just going through the motions. It’s not just saying the words. It’s not just reading what’s on the screen. It’s a broken spirit. It’s a contrite heart that comes to God and freely admits, “I was wrong and I need forgiveness.” That’s what has to happen in the family. It has to be genuine and it has to be sincere. I keep saying that because I’ve heard a lot of apologies and seeking forgiveness that are not sincere in my home. You probably have, too. The scene usually goes like this. Someone is crying upstairs and so you go to investigate. You get on the second step and you hear your other child frantically yelling, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, okay? I apologize. Now will you stop crying?” I don’t think they’re looking for reconciliation. I think they’re looking for not to get in trouble with Dad.

There are lots of times to smooth things over, to make things okay. We’ll say, “I’m sorry.” We’ll say, “I apologize.” It has to be more than words. It has to be more than just the actions. It has to come from the heart, God says a broken heart, a contrite heart that truly wants reconciliation, that truly says, “What I did was wrong, I’m sorry. I need your forgiveness.” That’s where it begins. And then forgiveness has to be offered but it has to be a complete forgiveness. It can’t be a hollow forgiveness. It can’t be just passing it off and say, “Oh, that’s okay.” Or “It doesn’t matter.” Forgiveness is much more serious than that. The forgiveness has to be complete and total just like it is with our forgiveness from God.

There’s a favorite passage I have from the prophet, Jeremiah, when I’m looking for assurance of God’s forgiveness, this is the passage that always comes up. It’s 31:34 in Jeremiah and God says, “I will forgive their wickedness,” but here’s the part that I just can’t get out of my head, “and will remember their sins no more.” Do you really catch the meaning of that when God says, “I will remember their sins no more.” Now it’s not that God is absentminded. It’s not that God is forgetful. God says, “I’m going to make a conscious choice that I will not remember your sins anymore,” which says to me God will never throw it back in my face. God will never remind me of past dastardly deeds that I have done. Once God says I am forgiven, it’s gone. He chooses never to remember that again. It’s as if it didn’t happen, that incident is closed. It’s a complete and total forgiveness.

This is what we have to practice in our homes. It’s a complete and total forgiveness. It has to be taken seriously. Forgiveness is serious business. How much more serious can it be that God would send His Son into the world? How much more serious is it that Jesus would willingly suffer on the cross and He would spill His blood so we could be forgiven? This is serious stuff and so when we say to another individual, “I forgive you,” it has to be from here. It can’t be words. And if it can’t come from here, if there are still hurt feelings that need to get worked out, then work them out. If there is still something that needs to be discussed, then start talking. Don’t just flippantly sort of casually say, “Okay, I forgive you.” When you can say, “I forgive you and I choose never to remember this again,” that’s powerful. And note I said, “I’m going to choose not to remember it,” not “I’m going to forget it.” Because I don’t know about you but some hurts go so deep I could never forget but I can choose not to remember. What I mean by that is when something triggers the memory of a past hurt, some division you had with another person, you’re consciously going to say, “I’m not going to dwell on that. I’m not going to ruminate on it. I’m not going to roll it around in my mind. I’m either going to pray about it, I’m going to read scripture, I’m going to call a friend. I am not going to let the devil have a foothold and drudge up all of those old memories and all of those old hurts. If it has been forgiven, the case is closed and it’s never to be brought up again, never to be thrown in the person’s face. It’s closed. It’s behind you. Forgiveness isn’t easy. But it’s powerful. And forgiveness unites us. It can bring a family back together. When we truly forgive someone, the power of God’s love is flowing through us to that other individual. That’s what brings families back together. We have our unity in Christ. And if there’s a rift, we’re reunited in Christ’s forgiveness.

If you look at the end of the movie, Toy Story, you find out that Buzz and Woody, all of a sudden, make up. They have one of those moments of reconciliation but they are drawn together on a common quest, they want to get back to Andy. They want to get back to the boy they belong to. They want to get back to the boy who loves both of them.

We have a God who loves us. And all of us are united in Christ. We’re united as a family of believers and we’re united in our family home. Amen.

Copyright 2009 Gloria Dei Lutheran Church