Family Values: Serving Together

Pastor Burcham’s Sermon

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Grace, mercy and peace to you from God our Father and our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen.

This past week, I was reading an article and there was a quote from a college basketball coach and he says, “On our team, we have a motto and that motto is good players do for themselves. Great players do for others.” I believe what the coach is saying there is they need good players. They need players that can handle the ball, players that can move it down court. They have the instincts, they have the initiative, they know how to play the game. They are good players but greater players go beyond that because they think beyond themselves. They try to bring the best out in the entire team and so for them to be a great team, they had to move from just being good players to great players.

I wonder if that same motto could not be used in our families? Good family members do for themselves. Great family members do for others. In other words, good family members are able to take care of themselves, right? They’re able to be self reliant and really, isn’t that our job as a parent? Isn’t that our goal? We want our kids to be more and more independent. That’s why we celebrate little victories, right? When they’re finally out of diapers and they can go to the bathroom by themselves. Woo-hoo, that was my favorite. When they can eat for themselves, yeah, that’s a great thing. When they can go off to school, when they can drive, when they go to college, when they’re self reliant, we want good families. They can do for themselves.

But can we move to the next level and be great family members and do for others? In other words, family members who don’t just think about themselves but they think about the entire family and how can we bring out the best in everyone. How can we serve everyone so that our family as a whole is stronger?  You see, if we have great family members, I believe that will translate into great families.

One of the reasons that I challenged you last week to do an act of service as a family is because I think that helps teach us to go beyond ourselves, to not just do something for us but to do something for others because there are several lessons that can be learned when we do acts of service and I believe those lessons then translate right into our family lives.
For instance, acts of service teach us about sacrifice. Every family has to have sacrifice. That’s just how it is this side of heaven. And so acts of service, they teach us what it is to sacrifice and that sacrifice isn’t just a bad thing; in fact, sacrifice has its own rewards. Now it’s a little bit challenging in our world because, even in acts of service, we like to make everything convenient. We like to make everything easy. And I just worry, though, that when we make something so convenient, so easy, do we lose? Do we lose part of what it is to have an act of service?

Let me explain what I mean. If, this morning, you decide after church that you’re going to go through the drive-through at McDonald’s, I wouldn’t recommend it, but if you do, it’s okay. And when you go through the drive-through at McDonald’s, when you pay your bill, you’re going to notice that there is a little plastic bin right underneath the drive-through window. Have you guys seen it? Okay. And the easiest thing to do is, when they give you your change, all you have to do is release. You’ve done a good deed. You’ve done an act of service. Just let go of the change, it falls into the bin and I’m sure it goes to a worthy cause. Don’t misunderstand me. But that’s so easy. All you have to do is release your hand, there it is.

Another example, tonight, probably right at the most crucial play in the Super Bowl, the telephone is going to ring and it’s going to be a telemarketer. I just know it. And it’s going to be for a worthy cause, something that you want to contribute to and all you simply have to do is write out a check or read off the numbers on your credit card and, boom, you’ve done a good deed. You’ve done an act of service. And I don’t want to diminish that. I’m not saying that monetary gifts can’t make a change and make a difference but when I’m talking about an act of service, it has to go a little bit deeper than that. It has to involve more of who we are. It means that we have to give of ourselves. It takes effort. It takes time. It takes sacrifice. And when it takes sacrifice, it brings us a deeper meaning with what we’re doing.

Jesus is a prime example of that. Jesus said, “I have not come to be served but to serve.” He spent His entire life serving mankind. One example of that, when it wasn’t really convenient, it wasn’t really an easy time for Him to serve, but He did, it’s recorded for us in Matthew 14, “When Jesus heard what had happened, He withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place. Hearing this, the crowds followed Him on foot from the towns. When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, He had compassion on them and healed their sick. Now what is the news that Jesus has just heard? The news that Jesus just heard is that his cousin, John, had been beheaded by Herod, not great news. John, John the Baptist, the forerunner, got the people ready for Jesus’ ministry, His cousin, Herod has him beheaded. Jesus just hears the news and so Jesus is going to go off to a quiet place. Remember, He’s completely a human being. He wants to take some time to mourn the loss of His family member. So He gets in a boat and He tries to find that place. He lands the boat and there’s the crowd. Humanly speaking, this is not a good time for Jesus. I’m going to go out on a limb and say, humanly speaking, in His humanity, the last thing that Jesus wanted to see was a whole crowd of people who needed Him. But Jesus had compassion on them and healed their sick. You see, Jesus made a sacrifice. He made a sacrifice of His time and He will do His mourning later. But right now, His act of service to that crowd is to teach them and to heal them. Acts of service, they take a sacrifice.

This past week, if you as a family were able to do an act of service, maybe you made a casserole or a sack lunch or something, did you find it easy to fit into the schedule? It didn’t in our household. In fact, we got in just under wire. Yesterday morning, we started doing the casseroles for the Salvation Army. And I have to tell you it wasn’t real convenient. Because all week long, we thought about it but with kids’ schedules, my schedule, Michelle’s schedule, it just wasn’t happening. In fact, on Friday night, Michelle said, “Maybe I should just whip these casseroles up so they’re done now that the kids are in bed.” Oh, it was real tempting, especially from my point of view. “No, wait until tomorrow morning.” Now I understand that this is a small sacrifice but it was an opportunity to teach the kids and teach ourselves, “You know what? We’ll sacrifice the schedule. There are all kinds of other things we could be doing this morning. The kids could be doing their homework. They could be watching cartoons. I could be working on the house. Michelle could be doing something else.” But we’re saying this is important and it takes a priority.

Acts of service sometimes call for a sacrifice but sacrifices aren’t bad. Sacrifices have their own rewards. As families, we need to learn about sacrifice because, if we’re part of a family, we have to sacrifice. We have to do some things that aren’t convenient all the time and sometimes they may be even difficult to do. I always considered babies crying at 3:00 a.m. to be not very convenient. But you make the sacrifice. Or daughters who are in college who need a visit during the busiest week of your month. It takes a sacrifice. Some of you have to travel hours to take care of your elderly parents, right? That’s a sacrifice. But you don’t do it begrudgingly, any of those tasks. You do them joyfully. You do them willfully. Why? Because you learn that the sacrifice isn’t a bad thing. In fact, you willingly sacrifice because that’s such a strong statement of how important this other person is and how much you love that person. So families need to learn about sacrifice, that it’s okay. Actually, it can be a good thing. When we do acts of service together, it helps us learn about sacrifice.

Acts of service also help us learn to be selfless, to not always think about ourselves but to think about others. In fact, we’re going to practice what I preach this morning and that is we’re going to have an intermission in the sermon. We don’t usually do that. No, you can’t go out for coffee although we are going to take a small break here. And we’re going to do an act of service for another person. And so if all of you would turn to your right. It’s okay, turn to your right. No, no, no, I mean physically turn to your right. There’s another activity. That’s not the act of service. Now I need you to reach up and give a shoulder rub to the person next to you there. There we go. Tensions of the night. There we are. Alright. Now while you’re finishing that up, you see, acts of service help us learn selflessness, that it isn’t always about what we receive in return. Now that’s a bit of a challenge in our culture, too, because, in our culture, I’ll do for you as long as you do something back for me. Alright? You scratch my back, I’ll scratch your back. In fact, there are a number of you out there, if you happen to be sitting on the far left end of the pews, who are saying, “So when are you going to tell everybody to turn to the left and give a shoulder rub?” That’s how it works. But acts of service are supposed to be selfless.

Now I hate to admit this but I will. As I was thinking about it this week, churches are notorious for this. They’re notorious for asking someone to do an act of service because it will benefit you. Think about it. This is convicting. Ask for a volunteer, a ministry partner, a teacher, someone to go on a mission trip, what is it that we will say? “You will get more out of this than what you put into it.” As true as I believe that statement is, that is not the reason. That should not be the motivation to give of ourselves in some act of service. Acts of service are to be selfless. We are to give and not expect or anticipate anything in return.

Jesus really taught that about even our eternal life and we had it just a moment ago in the scripture lesson that was done on the video but listen closely. This is Jesus talking about the end of times, the sheep and the goats, those on the right, those on the left and He says, “Then the king will say to those on his right, ‘Come you who are blessed by my Father. Take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat. I was thirsty, you gave me something to drink. I was a stranger, you invited me in. You clothed me. All these things the righteous have done.’” But note what Jesus doesn’t say. Jesus doesn’t say, “Come you who are blessed by my Father and take your reward for food and clothing and visiting.” He doesn’t say, “Come you who are blessed by my Father and take your payment for food and clothing and visiting.” He says, “Take your inheritance.” An inheritance can’t be earned. An inheritance isn’t deserved. An inheritance is a gift. It has nothing to do with the person on the receiving end. So the first thing that Jesus teaches is that our salvation, heaven, is a gift from God. It isn’t a result of what we do or what we say or how hard we try. It’s an inheritance.

Well, that leads into the second part then and that is the righteous. And notice they’re surprised. It says, “Then the righteous will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in and give you clothes and all those other things?’” We didn’t see any of that. In other words, the righteous didn’t feed, clothe and visit anticipating payment for that. They didn’t feed, clothe and visit because they were scoring points with God. It was a selfless act. They just gave of themselves and didn’t think anything else of it.

We need to learn selflessness and certainly in our families, we need to learn selflessness, that it isn’t always about us. It isn’t always about what we’ll get out of the deal. So kids shouldn’t be nice to their parents just so they’ll let them go out that night. And parents shouldn’t go easy and be kind to their kids so they’ll behave well. Or the one that you may be guilty of and, I hate to admit, I’m pretty sure I’m guilty of, is when we really get mad at our kids, they’ve really messed up bad and we’re disappointed and we look at them and say, “After all I’ve done for you and this is how you treat me.” What are we saying there? I fed you, I clothed you, I loved you so you’d fly right, you’d live up to my expectations? That’s the wrong message. We need to learn selfless acts, that I feed, clothe, take care of you because I love you. End of story. The only motivation that we are nice to each other, we’re kind to each other, we help each other out in our families is because we love each other.

Every family member needs to know that they are a part of the family, not because of what they do but just because of who they are. Just because of who they are. We need to learn selflessness. Acts of service, they can help us. They can help us learn selflessness.

The last thing that acts of service can do is they can help us learn gratitude. They give us an opportunity to be thankful, to help us refocus. Thankfulness, first of all, for the blessings that God has given to us. I don’t know how you could help another person out, I don’t know how you can do an act of service to someone who doesn’t have as much as you do and not be thankful for what you have.

I’ll go back to yesterday morning. We made 2 or 3 of these casserole things and we ran out of milk. So, no problem, ran down to Dahl’s, got a gallon of milk, came back within a few moments and finished up the casseroles. Right? It was not a big deal. But think about the people who are receiving the casseroles. They don’t have a car to jump in and go down to the grocery store. If they get to the grocery store, they don’t have any money to go in and buy what they need. They don’t have a warm home to come back to which they could cook the meal or sit down and relax with their family. How can you do that and not take a look around as you drive up to your home and say, “Wow, has God blessed me. Look at all that I have.” And we stop focusing on what we wanted. All of a sudden, the things we take for granted we see are such a blessing from God. Acts of service help us be thankful for what we have.

Acts of service, I think they make us have more gratitude shown to God. We’re thankful for what God has done for us. Follow me with this. If you’ve done an act of service, if it’s called upon you to make a sacrifice so you understand what that feels like to make a sacrifice, if it’s a selfless act, that your only motivation is to reach out in love and then you hear Jesus’ words when Jesus says, “I have not come to be served but to serve and to give my life as a ransom for many,” don’t those words take on new meaning? When Jesus says, “I’ve come to serve,” and now you understand what it is to serve, at least in a small way, in a little way. And Jesus did more than just whip up some casseroles and put some clothes on the backs of people. Jesus says, “I’ve come to give my life as a ransom.” His sacrifice was his very life. His selfless act was to hang upon a cross so our sins could be forgiven and we could receive the gift of eternal life. Acts of service give us a deeper appreciation, a new perspective on what our God has done for us.

And that can be translated right into our families so, as a family, we have a deeper appreciation of the blessings God’s given us and a deeper thankfulness for all that He’s done for us. Acts of service, there are lessons that can be learned that translate right back into our families. You see, we can go from good families to great families. It starts with every family member. Good family members do for themselves. We want that. Great family members do for others. And if we have a whole house full of great family members, we move from a good family to a great family. Amen.

Copyright 2009 Gloria Dei Lutheran Church