Principles for Life- Be Faithful in all Relationships

October 12, 2003, 8:00, 9:30, 11:00 AM

Rev. Ronald Burcham

Typed from audio transcript

Grace, mercy, and peace to you from God our Father and our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen.

One doesn't have to look far to find it. In one day's time, you can be assaulted of more details than you care to know about the Kobe Bryant case and the accusation that he raped a 19-year-old girl. Or you can switch over and find out about Arnold Schwarzenegger, now the Governor of California, and the allegations of his improper conduct on the movie sets. And I'm sure there are just a plethora of other ideas coming through the media telling us more details than what we really want to know about the sexual sins of people of celebrity and that have a status in society.

They tell us more than what we know because, in actuality, we want to know. The public has an insatiable appetite to find out about the sexual sins of those who are in the limelight, because it strikes a cord with each and every one of us, because it strikes at the heart of who we are as human beings.

One of the strongest drives that God put into a human being is the sex drive. And because of that, one of the hardest temptations for us as human beings to avoid is the sexual sins that are out there in our world. That's why God gives to us the Sixth Commandment. In the Sixth Commandment, God wants us to hear a clear word from Him, a clear word on how in this commandment He provides for us and how in this commandment He protects us. Certainly, this is not a topic that you are probably accustomed to hearing in church. Maybe it makes you uncomfortable. I can guarantee you that I'm uncomfortable. But it is something that we need to hear. It is something that is so prevalent in our world and our society that we need clear direction from God and His word. We need to know what He has to say, what He has to say about how this gift of sex is supposed to be used in the context of marriage and only marriage, to understand how God provides for us and how in this especially God seeks to protect us.

Certainly, God seeks to provide for us in this. God seeks to provide for us because, inherent in this commandment is the gift of marriage. It is God's gift of marriage that He's given to us. From the beginning of time, God created Adam. He said that wasn't right. Creation wasn't finished. He created Eve. He brought the two of them together. He instituted, He blessed marriage. He said that between a man and a woman, between a husband and a wife, they find completion. They find a partner, a lifelong partner for life. That is how God created us. That is how God designed us, for men and women to come together and enjoy this great blessing of marriage. And in the context and in the bounds of marriage, then God also gives us the gift of sex.

Now, I need to take a side note for just a moment because I don't want to be misunderstood. Those that are single in our congregation, please do not misunderstand me of saying that you have to be married or that you must be married or that there is something wrong. That's not what I'm saying at all. Some people can go through their whole life as a single person. Others are looking for a relationship. I'm not talking about that. I'm simply stating the fact that God has given us a great blessing, and that great blessing is the blessing of marriage. And in the context of marriage, God gives us the blessing of sex. That's not how we usually like to talk about it. Sometimes we want to blush. Sometimes we want to believe that's kind of dirty or that's something that shouldn't be discussed in public. Well, it's discussed all over the airways; so we probably need to discuss it here. The fact of the matter is it is not inherently evil. It is not dirty. It is not shameful. It is a gift from God. In fact, the gift from God is that between a husband and a wife they can share a special connection. They can share a special intimacy that is with no one else in their life but is unique just to the two of them. And that's the gift that God gives to us in the context of marriage.

But once we take that gift out of marriage, there's nothing but trouble and there's nothing but heartache and pain. When we take the gift of sex outside of marriage, we turn the blessing into a curse. Therefore, God seeks to protect us. God seeks to protect us. God isn't trying to make some kind of cruel joke. He's not a practical joker up in heaven finding out how He can mess with our lives. What I mean by that is some of the thought is this, "Well, if God gave us this strong drive, in fact, the sex drive is probably only second in line to that of self preservation, if God has made that such a strong drive in each and every human being, then isn't it cruel, it must be funny for him to say here is the gift but, by the way, don't use it." Isn't that like walking up to a person in the middle of the desert who's parched, handing him a bottle of water, and saying, "Don't drink the water? It's not good for you." Is God being cruel? Is God playing some kind of joke? Is God being unrealistic? No. No, He's not. God is not some sort of cosmic killjoy. God isn't playing games with our lives. God has given us the gift, but the gift is to be used properly. Like all gifts that God has given to us, it is to be used properly. God gives us the gift of water. He can either quench our thirst or we can drown in it. Fire can either keep us warm or can burn us. It all depends on how you use it. So it is with God's gift of sex. In the context of marriage, sex is a beautiful gift from God.

But if we take it out of the context of marriage, it is destructive and it is detrimental, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. And in this Sixth Commandment, God seeks to protect us from all of that. He seeks to protect us from the destructive and the detrimental effects of pulling this gift out of the context of marriage and turning a blessing into a curse. God seeks, first of all, to protect us from ourselves. He's protecting us from ourselves. St. Paul wrote about it. He said, "Flee from sexual immorality." Why? He says, "He who sins sexually sins against his own body." We sin against ourselves. We bring trouble. We bring hurt. We bring pain upon ourselves. That's why God says unequivocally, "Sex before marriage is wrong." There are no gray areas here. There is nothing to debate here. God is clear on this issue. Sex outside of marriage, sex before marriage is wrong.

That is in direct contradiction to the world we live in. A poll in 2000: Only 38% of the Americans said that sex before marriage was wrong. 62% of our country sees no problem with it, that it's okay, that it's fine. We have a warped idea of what sex is in the world around us. We don't understand the gift that God has given to us. The message from society is, "Be very casual. It's no big deal. It doesn't matter how many partners you have. It's just a natural thing. It's part of the dating process. It's part of the courtship process." God says, "No, it's not."

Reality TV. You know I don't watch the shows, but I see enough in the commercials. One guy is supposed to be dating this other gal. In the commercial, the clothes are flying off their bodies. I can't imagine what happens in the show. The message is, "This is part of dating. This is what happens." Is that reality? Well, if it is, then reality's wrong. God says, "No." And the message that God says to us this morning is not just for our teenagers and our young people. I don't care how mature you are, whether you're 16 or 60, God says, "No." Whether you're 24 or 44, God says, "No." The gift that He has given to us is in the context of marriage only. And God seeks to protect us from ourselves. For one thing, God seeks to protect us physically. If you really want to get down to it, God is protecting us physically. He's protecting the bodies, the health that He has given to us. Consider this: There would be no sexually transmitted diseases if everybody kept sex inside of marriage. There wouldn't be any. STD's are caused because people have multiple partners, and then they pass the disease on. Is this God zapping us? Is this God punishing us? No. It is a natural consequence to us taking a blessing and making it a curse, taking the gift and not using it the way God intended it to be. It's a natural consequence of abusing what God has given to us. And so, I don't know how many years in the past, but it continues to escalate higher and higher and higher as far as the STD's in our country and new strands of them popping up all along. God seeks to protect you from that. He seeks to protect you physically so that you don't go through that pain, so that you don't have to deal with those diseases.

God also is protecting us emotionally, and maybe we don't think of that. But the effects of taking the blessing and making it a curse are not only physical but they're emotional too. There is more going on here than just some physical activity. This isn't like going for a walk or hitting the Stairmaster for 20 minutes. There is a whole lot more that is happening in the gift that God has given to us and yet society wants to convince us, the world wants to convince us that it is simply a physical activity and nothing more. And that is damaging to us emotionally. It's damaging to us emotionally because we're denying part of how God made us. We're denying part of the blessing that God has given to us. There is an intimacy. There is a connection that happens there that is different than anything else, and it goes beyond just physical. And that's why it affects us emotionally. We get a warped idea of what this gift of sex is all about. If we reduce it to simply being something physical, then it really affects us down to the core of who we are.

In fact, I am convinced some of the negative effects upon our society are the fact that, in this world, there is a growing addiction to pornography. It's astronomical. There's only one money maker on the Internet, and that's porn sites. It's the only one that makes money. And you know how much? It's a multi-billion dollar a year. Multi-billion dollar a year. They can't even count how many sites there are worldwide. That's how many there are. That's how many people are dialing it up through their modem or through their high speed connection. There is an epidemic of people being addicted to pornography because they've taken something that God has given us and they've reduced it down to something physical. And the effects of that are detrimental. Relationships are ending. People are no longer being able to have any kind of intimacy with another human being. Their whole idea has been warped, and some people get so warped we see them being arrested on the nightly news.

God wants to protect you from that. God wants to protect you emotionally. He wants to protect you physically. He's given us the blessing. He's given us the gift, but that gift is to be used in the context and the confines of marriage only. That's how the gift was given. That's why God says, "You shall not commit adultery." Because God wants to protect our relationships also. He wants to protect the marriage relationship between a husband and a wife. It would be a gross understatement to say that if you're unfaithful to your spouse, it's detrimental to your marriage. All of us know that, and all of us understand that. In fact, 91% of the Americans say it is wrong to be unfaithful to your wife or to your husband. Why is it, though, that 24-34% do? They don't have an accurate figure because they don't know how many people will admit to it. Somewhere between 24 and 34% of people are unfaithful to their spouse. God wants to protect you from that. God says I don't care what the circumstances are. I don't care how bad your relationship is with your husband or your wife. I don't care how much the other person doesn't care. He says I don't care how many of your needs are not being met. It is wrong to be unfaithful to your spouse because God wants to protect you from the pain and the agony and the destructive power of what that affair will do.

I know this is a heavy message. It's a very heavy message, but I believe it's a message that we need to hear. We need to hear God's clear Word to us, and I am convinced that probably some of you are struggling with this. I am convinced, in a congregation our size, that somebody is struggling with every aspect of this. And God has two words for you. Would you please listen to both of them, the first and the second? The first word that God says is, "If you're struggling, if you're being unfaithful to your spouse, end it now today. Not tomorrow. Not next week. Not when you get up the courage. Today. After service, you make the phone call. You end the relationship, and you start putting your marriage back together." And with God's help, you can. It ends today. God says to you who are struggling with pornography, and I am convinced just by the shear volume that some of the men of this congregation are struggling with that, God says it ends today, right here, right now. Do whatever it takes. Take whatever steps are necessary to make sure that the temptation isn't there. If it means putting a filter on your computer, then do it. If it means being accountable to another person, then do it. If it means throwing the computer out the window, then do it. Jesus says that if your eye causes you to sin, then gouge it out and throw it away. If that's what you need to do to be free of this, then you need to do it. God says, "You need to flee from sexual immorality." Because He wants to protect you from all of the pain and the destructive forces therein. That's the first word that God says. "If you're struggling, it ends today."

The second word, and you need to hear me. God says that He forgives you. God says that He loves you. And He accepts you where you are right now. Let me remind you of two individuals from the Old Testament. Abraham, the father of our faith. Abraham, the great one, who left his land and went into the Promise Land. On two occasions, Abraham told a king of his foreign country that his wife was actually a sister. In fact, it got to the point that the kings would take his wife, Sarah, in as their own wife until God intervened. That's what Abraham did.

How about David? The great king, David? Conquest of all the promise land. Had everything he wanted, power, wealth. Wasn't satisfied with all that. He wanted Bathsheba, another man's wife. But God brought both of them to contrition. He brought both of them to confession, and God forgave both of them and look how God used their lives. Look how God moved through them.

Consider this. Who did Jesus hang out with? Time and time again throughout the gospels, who was it that Jesus was always in the company of? Sinners and prostitutes. When some of the religious leaders scoffed at Him for that, you know what He said? He said, "The healthy don't need a doctor. The sick do. I have come to seek and to save the lost." He came seeking them out so He could save them, so He could forgive them and bring them back into the fold. Jesus came to seek and to save you. He's here this morning seeking you out because He wants to save you. He wants to welcome you with His arms. He wants to assure you that He hung upon that cross for every sin you could have committed, and He forgives you completely. In fact, He came out of the grave to prove to you there's power over sin and over death so that He can welcome you with open arms with His love and His grace.

God's Word this morning needs to be clear. He gives us the context in which we are to use this gift of sex. He tells us if we're struggling, we end it through His help and receive His forgiveness. But God gives us this Word because He loves us, because He wants to provide for us. He wants to protect us. He wants to protect us from abusing the gift He's given to us, the gift that He has provided for us, the gift of marriage, and the gift of intimacy that happens between a husband and a wife. Amen.

Copyright 2003 Gloria Dei Lutheran Church