A Place of Forgiveness

Thursday, April 8, 2004

Rev. Ronald Burcham

Typed from audio transcript

She had a tattoo. It was on the left side right above the shoulder blade. It was just a single color. She got it before tattoos were fashionable in multicolored. She got it in a back alley in a dirty, grungy garage where all chance of infection was there. Scrolled out in blue, and it was just sort of etched into a crown shape. Small, not really all that noticeable. She wasn't sure which was worse, though. Was it the tattoo or what she had to do to earn the tattoo? There had been the men. There had been the petty crimes and various other things she had to do so she could have the privilege and the honor of having that etched in, so she could be part of the game.

But that was years ago. That was a different place and a different time. Then came the night school. Then came the first job, promotions, the relocation, and now a husband and children. That was the distant past. And now she finds herself seated in her church right outside of Chicago, and they're having a special board meeting because they're going to discuss how some of the street kids from the gangs are coming in and joining in on Sunday School. And the conversation goes back and forth until finally one woman says, "Well, I've already taken my children out of Sunday School. The very reason I bring them here is so they don't hang around hoodlums like that. I bring them here so they can have a proper upbringing, and mine won't be coming if we let those street kids into our church." And then they look at her. And she thinks to herself, "If they only knew." If they only knew the things she had done. If they only knew the places where she had been, they wouldn't be asking her opinion that night. In fact, they might not even want to sit at the same table with her. So, for her, her world grows a little bit smaller that night and she becomes very quiet as the conversation continues in the board meeting. And all she can think over and over again, "If they only knew."

We've all had moments like that. Maybe we don't have tattoos. Maybe we have a different circumstance. But all of us carry with us the scars of our past, of the things we've said and the things we've done, the things we've thought. There are those times when a conversation triggers it and the memories come back and we think, "If they only knew."

That's why we're here tonight. We're back, once again, in the upper room. In the upper room that was filled with 13 gentlemen, 12 of which, at some time in their life, had thought the same thing. "If they only knew." Twelve of them who carried with them scars of the past. Twelve of them, at times, when the conversation would come up, their world shrunk just a little bit and, uncharacteristically, they would become quiet.

There was Matthew sitting at one end, and he remembers the time Jesus was talking and Jesus says, "You cannot serve two masters. You cannot serve God and money. It has to be one or the other." And all of a sudden, Matthew becomes quiet and he thinks back to his tax collector days. And he thinks about the various things he did to extort money from people, and he thinks to himself about the other disciples. "If they only knew."

There's Peter. Peter wanted to be close to Jesus. He was on one side of Him, and he remembers back to the time that Jesus said, "Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth." And, uncharacteristically, Peter became quiet and slid to the back of the pack of the disciples. Peter was anything but meek. He remembered back in the fishing boats, some of the things, some of the words he used to yell at the other fishermen, to get the other people to pull their weight. Peter's world got a little bit smaller, and he thought to himself, "If these other guys only knew."

And then how about Judas? Judas who is sort of off by himself in the corner, he's being very quiet tonight. He was usually quiet but especially tonight. The disciples are all chattering and talking. They're talking about Sunday, how they welcomed Jesus into Jerusalem, the palm leaves that were laid down, declaring Him to be their king. They were making plans with each other. Who would be the greatest in the kingdom once Jesus established it? Once they rooted the Romans out of there, once He was declared king, which one would have the highest position among all of the disciples? But Judas knows there'll be no revolution. He knows there'll be no insurgency. Judas knows what he told the chief priest and the teachers of the law, so Judas stands in the corner. Maybe he smirks or maybe he feels guilt, and he says, "If they only knew. If they only knew what I've done."

Most of us, if not all of us, have had moments like that. It usually hits us out of the blue. You're with a bunch of acquaintances or friends, and the conversation is going fine and then all of a sudden the conversation turns and a different topic comes up. And when that topic comes up, all of a sudden the memories come flooding back and the scars of your past start to surface once again. Those things you regret, those things no one else knows about you and you're glad no one else knows them about you. As the conversation goes on, your world gets a little bit smaller and you think, "They don't know. They don't know about the marriage that only lasted six months. They don't know about the vow that you broke. They don't know about the charges that were made but were dropped on a technicality. They don't know about the stuff you put in your body during college. They don't know about the unplanned pregnancy. They don't know." And yet their conversation keeps going. Pretty soon, it turns to indignation and one says to the other one, "I just can't imagine anyone doing something like that, can you?" And another one says, "Well, how can anyone allow that to happen? I doubt that I even know somebody that would do something like that." And all you can think of is, "If they only knew." If they only knew what was in your past. But they don't. No one does, only you.

Everybody has something they keep inside that no one else knows about. It's a scar. It's a regret. Something they're ashamed of. And it's a pain that gnaws away at you, but it's a pain you face alone. You don't let anyone else in. You forget about it for a while, and then the conversation hits or you see a familiar place and the memories come flooding in in vivid color and detail. In fact, maybe even tonight. Maybe tonight, something's triggered for you. And you're sitting there right now saying, "Oh, but Pastor, if you only knew." And right now you're feeling all alone.

If that's the case, you're in the right place. God has brought you here tonight, because God has brought you here to this place of forgiveness. He specifically wants you here, and He wants you to hear His message. You're in the right place, because you're in God's place of forgiveness. That's what the upper room was more than anything else because, you see, Jesus does know. Jesus knows everything. Jesus knew about Matthew and his crooked ways when he was a tax collector. He called him as His disciple anyway. He knew about Peter and his temper, and He called him anyway. And the most astounding thing of all is that Jesus knew what Judas had done. He said so in the gospel tonight. "The hand of the one who is going to betray Me is with Me this very evening." Gathered around this sacred table where He's going to institute His meal and He knows that His betrayer is sitting there with Him. And yet Jesus wants him there. Jesus knows.

And Jesus knows every detail of your life. He knows every detail from the moment you were conceived until this very second. All the things that no one else knows, Jesus knows. And that's why He invites you here tonight. And that's why He invites you to His table tonight. He invited the disciples to join Him at that table. He even invited Judas to that table, invited Judas to that table of forgiveness. But Judas turned his back and left. But you won't do that tonight, will you? You won't leave. You'll heed Jesus' invitation to come to His table. Jesus says, "In this meal when you celebrate it, do it in remembrance of me." Jesus wants us to remember all that He has done for us. The disciples had come remembering the Passover, because that's what God had instructed them to do, to remember how God had delivered them out of the hands of the Egyptians and brought them to the Promise Land, to remember that the blood of the lamb was placed upon the top of the door and along the sides and, when the angel of death saw the blood of the lamb, it passed over them and no harm befell them.

So tonight the one that John the Baptist called the Lamb of God gathers His people at this same meal and now He tells us to take and eat, for it's His body and to take and drink, for it's His blood. And He says that it's given and shed for you for the forgiveness of all of your sins. Jesus says remember tonight. Remember His passion. Remember His willingness to go to the cross. Remember His willingness to die just so He could rise again. Remember the love He has for you. Jesus wants each one of us here tonight, because all of us carry the scars of our sins. Even Jesus carries the scars of sin, not His sin but ours. Look at His hands. Look at His feet. Put your hand in His side. The scars of our sin are there. But now they have become marks of love, marks of His love and commitment to you.

Bring your scars forward tonight. Bring your sin, your shame, your regret, and your guilt. Jesus wants to heal those scars and to wipe them away. Jesus wants to erase the shame and take away the guilt. Jesus doesn't want you to live in regret anymore. That's why He's brought you here to this place because this is a place of forgiveness. Amen.

Copyright 2004 Gloria Dei Lutheran Church