Places of the Passion: A Place of Renewal

Wednesday, March 24, 2004

Rev. Ronald Burcham

Typed from audio transcript

You know, just a few hours before, he stood in front of Jesus and he said, "Jesus, I'll go to prison with you." He thought for a moment. He said, "No, I'll die for you, Jesus." When he spoke those words, he didn't think a few short hours later, Jesus would be arrested. He never thought he'd be standing here in the courtyard of the high priest's house, standing next to the fire warming himself and watching all the things that are happening, seeing his teacher of three years just standing a stone's throw away, disbelief at how they're treating Him, disbelief at all the things that are happening. No, he never thought he'd be here. He never thought he'd be in the courtyard of the high priest. This would be a place that he would never forget. It would be a place of denial, that's certain. But also, for Peter, it would be a place of renewal.

You read the New Testament. You get sort of an idea of the personality of Peter. Peter was always the first one to answer. Peter was the one who always had the answers. Even if they were incorrect, Peter always had something to say. He always had something to interject. Peter was the one who was a little bit impetuous. He was the one who was always self-confident. He knew what the next step was going to be. And maybe Peter was just a little bit too much self-confident. You may recall just before the gathering at the high priest that it was Peter who pulled out his sword and cut off the ear of the servant, and Jesus reprimanded him and told him to put the sword away. I think it would be safe to say that Peter was a brave man. He had a lot of courage. He was willing to stand up to the temple guards that had come out there. He was willing to stand up to the people and the Pharisees and the teachers of the law that were going against Jesus, so to say that Peter was cowardly would be incorrect. No, it was only Peter and one other disciple that actually followed Jesus to the high priest's courtyard.

But I wonder -- at what point did reality finally hit for Peter. You see, it's hard to know what was going through his mind. Scripture doesn't tell us that. But what could we surmise as Peter follows Jesus into the courtyard of the high priest? Now this is the man who was willing to start a battle with the rest of the guards. Now Peter walks in and maybe he was looking for an opportunity… maybe there would be a moment where he could step in and intervene… or maybe he was waiting for a signal from Jesus. Maybe Jesus would give the word or He would give the look or He'd make a move, and that would be the opportunity when Peter would rush in and stand at the side of His Savior. Maybe he thought they were going to lock Jesus up and then maybe, covertly, he would sneak in, have a rescue attempt, and bring Him out.

Certainly, Peter didn't walk out in that courtyard thinking he was going undercover and he wasn't going to say anything. There had to be a point in the evening when, all of a sudden, the realization of the situation sank in. Maybe it was when he looked up and he realized, "They're holding court in the middle of the night." Maybe it was when the high priest himself came out and started questioning Jesus. Perhaps it was when the false witnesses came and couldn't agree, or maybe it was that moment when the high priest cried out that Jesus was blaspheming and tore his clothes; but at some point in time, Peter had to have the realization that he was in way over his head, that the entire religious leadership was against Jesus and they had one thing on their mind and it was His death.

So here stands Peter next to the fire. His mind is reeling. Peter, who always knows what his next step is, he doesn't know what his next step is. Peter, who always has the answers, even if they're incorrect, doesn't have any answers. He doesn't know what he's going to do. He stands there confused saying to himself, "I just need time to think. I need to figure this out, just like I always have." What happens? A gal comes up to him and says, "You were with Him." Well, in an instant, he has to decide. What's he going to do? Well, he's confused. He's dazed. All this is happening. He immediately jumps to the worst possible scenario of what could happen to him. What good would he be if he were in chains alongside of Jesus? "No, I don't know him. I don't know what you're talking about, Woman." He goes back to the other side of the fire.

Now his mind's really dancing. He can't figure it out. What happens? Someone else comes up to him. "Oh, yeah, you were with him." "No, no," he says. What else is he going to do? That other woman is still standing within earshot. He had denied it to her. Now he can't have contradictory stories. In reality, he's not really denying that he knows Jesus. He's just buying time. He's just buying time until he knows exactly when to make his move and what he's going to do next. If people would just leave him alone and give him a few minutes but vroom, in rapid fire, here comes a third person. "Well you're a Galilean. Of course, you were with Him." I don't know if it was frustration. I don't know if it was fear, or if it was a combination of the both. Now Peter starts cursing and swearing. "I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know this man." The rooster crows, and then his eyes meet Jesus. In an instant, the words of Jesus echo through his mind, "But before the rooster crows, you'll deny Me, Peter." In the twinkling of an eye comes the conviction, the very thing he said he would not do he has just done. He has denied all association with Jesus, denies that he knows Him. He has denied his Lord just as his Lord had said.

But Peter's denial goes a little bit deeper than that. It's a little more subtle. Because what Peter was really doing was denying that, he needed his Lord. You see, all this time, Peter was caught up in what he was going to do instead of what Jesus was accomplishing. All this time, he thought it was all about himself when, in reality, it was all about Jesus. He was denying the fact that he needed Jesus. Peter was going to figure it out. Peter would know the answers. He just needed time so he could reason it through. Then he would act. He was so concerned about himself that he denied his God.

Really isn't that what denial is about for us? Isn't denial when we rely upon our own strength and deny that we need God's strength? You see, I think it's hard to imagine for any of us to be caught in a conversation and all of a sudden the topic of religion comes up and they talk about Christianity. It's hard to imagine, at least for me, that any one of us would stand up and say, "No, I don't know anything about that. Nope, I'm not a Christian. No, I have nothing to do with Jesus." I suppose, but I really don't think so. Perhaps it's true that there are those opportunities when we should speak up, when the conversation turns one way and we remain silent instead of standing up for what we believe and what the conviction of our heart says. I suppose that is a form of denial. But I think our denial is more subtle than that. In fact, it goes a little bit deeper than that. The denial comes when we rely upon our own strength and not upon God's strength. It happens when we start thinking more highly of ourselves than we should, when the thoughts kind of trickle through our mind, "Well, you know, I'm a pretty good person here. I'm morally good, I have good ethics, I try very hard, and I'm a nice guy. Certainly, that has to count with the big guy upstairs, don't you think, score me a few points?" We deny we need Jesus in our life. Or maybe it's that self-reliant part of us that comes out that says we can make it through life. No matter what the circumstances may be, we'll just dig down deep, we'll pull ourselves back up, and we'll do okay, as long as we're given enough time to think it through, come up with a plan, we'll be all right. Don't we deny our need for God in every aspect of our life? Isn't that really when denial comes in? When we say we're so self-reliant, we're so self assured that we really don't think we need God, at least not in every aspect of our life. We say to ourselves, "You know, I've been through tough times before. I'm going to get through tough times again. I'll just dig down deep in myself. I'll make up my mind, and I'm going to get through this." We buy into that old adage, which is so false, that says, "God helps those who help themselves." I didn't know God needed our help. We start relying upon ourselves and our own strength, instead of relying on God.

Then comes that moment, the one we didn't anticipate, the one we didn't expect, much like Peter on that night, when we're thrown into a situation that we don't have the answers and no matter how down deep we dig, nothing's coming up. No matter how much time we have, we're not going to come up with the answers. No matter how hard we try, we're not going to be successful. There comes that point we realize that we really don't know what's happening in our lives and we don't know what direction to go and we keep trying anyway, arrogantly thinking we're going to be able to handle this, just give it a little bit more time but, sooner or later, we throw up our arms and we say, "I can't do it anymore. I can't live like this anymore. I don't know what's going to happen, but I can't go on." That's the moment that you meet the eyes of Jesus. That's the moment when you come to the realization that you don't have enough strength that you don't have enough fortitude, and you don't have all the answers. In reality, you've been denying God. You've been denying your need for Him and your utter dependence on Him.

The thing is usually those places of denial become places of renewal. That's really, what happened for Peter. Peter is denying that he knows Jesus, denying that he needs Jesus. Then all of a sudden, his eyes meet Jesus. The eyes of Jesus did not convey, "See, I told you so, Peter." The eyes of Jesus did not convey a condemnation of Peter and his denial and the sin that he had committed. The eyes of Jesus conveyed compassion for Peter. It was calling out to Peter, wanting Peter to return. In an instant, yes, Peter was convicted, convicted of his sin, convicted of his denial. But, at the same moment, he was compelled, compelled by Jesus' eyes. Why else would he leave crying? Not try to offer some sort of defense, not give some sort of reason for his actions? No, the realization hurt but, at the same time, there was a calling out from Jesus to Peter. Do you remember the words of Jesus that very night? "Peter, I have prayed for you. I have prayed for you that you will come back." Do you remember the confidence that Jesus had in him? He said, "And when you return," not if you return, "When you return, strengthen your brothers." In other words, Jesus was saying there's going to come this time of denial when you're going to deny your need for Me, but finally when the realization comes, all of a sudden, you're going to be stronger when you come out of that because it's going to be also a time of renewal. It's going to be calling you back to the faith relationship, calling you back and reminding you that you can't make it on your own but I'm there for you. Peter returned from that stronger than he was before. That place of denial became a place of renewal.

Our places of denial become a place of renewal. Something happens when we throw up our arms and don't know what to do, and that's the moment God steps in. The moment that we say, "I can't do it anymore," that's when God steps in and says, "I can." That's when we meet the eyes of Jesus, and He calls us back to that faith relationship. That's when He reminds us of all that He has done for us on the cross. Then He asks the question, "If I was willing to die for you, what won't I do for you? Will I not also give you all things?" It's those times of denial that turn into times of renewal.

Maybe a question for us to ask ourselves tonight is what area of your life are you denying God? What area in your life are you saying, "I can do it all on my own, thank you very much. I don't need God in this area." Is it in the area of finances? I can handle this by myself, Lord, thank you. I don't need your advice. Is it in the area of relationships? Is it in the area of dealing with parents, dealing with children? Where is it that you're relying on your own strength instead of God's? Is tonight the night to leave the place of denial and turn it into a place of renewal? Is it the time to realize that you're utterly dependent upon God in every aspect of your life and that God is there to help you and to strengthen you and to see you through?

Tonight let's turn areas of denial into places of renewal. Amen.

Copyright 2004 Gloria Dei Lutheran Church