Dealing with Adversity-Developing Self-worth

PASTOR BURCHAM'S SERMON

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Grace, mercy, and peace to you from God our Father and our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen.

The bills are mounting up. The big sale that you counted on fell through. You failed. The relationship ends. You wonder if you could have said something different, if you could have done something different, if maybe somehow there's still something you can do; but any way you figure it, you failed. The doctor gives a poor report and immediately you think of all the unhealthy things you've done from as far back as you can remember, all the fast food, all the lack of exercise, all the times you should have gone to the doctor and you didn't go to the doctor and you say to yourself, “I failed.”

Last week, when we looked at adversity, we noted that often times with adversity comes fear, fear of the unknown. This week, as we look at adversity, when we enter into tough times, we find out that often it makes us feel as if we're a failure. When we get into a difficult situation in life, when we start facing adversity, somehow we convince ourselves if we'd have made the right decisions, if we'd have made the right moves, if we'd have done something differently, somehow we could have dodged the bullet. When it really comes down to it, this is our fault, we failed in some way. Somehow, because all this is happening, we're worthless.

If we're going to learn to deal with adversity, then we need to learn to deal with and develop a healthy self worth. And we develop a healthy self worth, that is, how we see ourselves and the value we place upon ourselves, and we do that, first of all, by stopping, developing, and considering our self worth on how we feel and start basing it on what God says and basing it on the value God places upon us.

Hand in hand with self worth is pride. Now maybe the two don't seem like they go together, but they really are. In fact, pride can actually have a negative effect on how you feel about yourself. Now I know that doesn't make sense. Pride is usually when we're feeling good about ourselves. Pride is saying, “Look what I've accomplished. Look at all the things I've done.” But, in actuality, pride can actually add to the fact of having a poor self worth. And what I mean by that is this: If pride says I'm responsible for everything I've done, I'm a self-made man if you will, I've done the right things, I've worked hard, I've accomplished these things, I've pulled myself up from my bootstraps when times have gotten tough and, therefore, everything that's accomplished in my life really goes to credit me and I'm prideful about that, maybe even a little bit conceited about that, well, that means when something goes wrong, even if it's out of your control, if life starts to unravel around you and you have to start dealing with adversity in your life, well then it's your fault. That means you failed. That means you're worthless. Pride gets in the way. You see, the more pride we have, the more conceit we have or maybe the more arrogance we have, as we face life, then really adversity will hit you harder because if everything has to do with you, well then adversity is all about you. Adversity is all about you making the wrong choices. It's all about you making the wrong decisions. It's all about the things you could have done that you didn't do. Adversity has to do with you. And that means you failed. And that means you don't have any self worth.

Pride affects us in a second way, especially when we're trying to deal with adversity in tough times. That is, pride tells us we can't reach out for help. Pride tells us we can't be looking for others. We can't even let others know we're going through a tough time. You see, pride will tell you that you can't tell your friends and family what's going on at home. Pride will tell you that you can't admit the kids are running around and you can't really control them. Pride will tell you everything is fine in your relationship and you don't have to worry about it. Pride will tell you that you don't really need to go to the doctor, you will be okay, just give it some time. There's no telling how much adversity we could avoid if we wouldn't let our pride get in our way. Pride gets in the way for the couple who won't go and seek counseling because they don't want to admit there's a problem. Pride gets in the way when parents won't talk to their teenagers because they want to deny anything's happening there. Pride gets in the way when we say we don't need a doctor, we're going to be just fine. We just need to get a little rest and we'll be okay.

Adversity comes when pride gets in the way. God doesn't have much patience for pride, because God knows pride leads to our downfall. The writer of Proverbs says this, “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” Or maybe a real telltale is in 2 Chronicles 26:16 when it talks about Uzziah. Uzziah came into reign after his father, and his father had kind of fallen apart with the kingdom. When Uzziah came in and Uzziah had a new spirituality about him and he was bringing the kingdom back, he was bringing the nation of Israel back, things were going well, all of a sudden, God started to bless that and this is what happened in Verse 16. It says, “But after Uzziah became powerful, his pride led to his downfall.”

Even St. Paul . St. Paul and all the things that happened to him and all the great things God accomplished through him, God said to St. Paul that He wasn't going to remove a thorn in the flesh he had. Why? He tells us in

2 Corinthians, “To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations.” St. Paul is talking about the fact that Jesus himself appeared to him and taught him. Jesus himself brought him up to heaven and gave him a glimpse of heaven. Now can you imagine the things Paul had seen, the wonders he had witnessed? It would be so easy for him to believe that he was better than other people, so easy for him to be puffed up with pride. So what does he say God did? He says, “There was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan.” Something that was always nagging at Paul, something that was always there, reminding him, reminding him that he was dependent upon God for everything he had, reminding him not to be too puffed up about himself, not to let pride get in the way, not to fall in the same way Uzziah fell because of his pride. The same warning is for us. If we're going to deal with adversity in our life, if when all of a sudden we have pride and that falls apart because we believe we're a failure now, not only do we have to deal with the tough situation, the difficulties, but now we spend all of our time beating up on ourselves, counting all the ways in which we failed and how we're worthless.

If you want to deal with adversity and we're going to deal with a healthy self worth, then we have to deal with the pride issue. We have to come face to face with the fact that any pride we have has to be in God.

St. Paul, who had the thorn in the flesh, what did he say? He said, “But let him who boasts boast in the Lord.” If he was going to be proud of anything, if he was going to boast about anything, he was going to boast about God's power, God's might, the way God lifted him up. You see, sometimes, we need to swallow our pride. We need to wash the pride away so we can reach out to other people, especially during tough times, especially during adversity. Maybe we do need to ask someone else for help. Maybe we do need to talk to someone else. In fact, maybe God is using this situation in your life just to get your pride in check, to make sure you do swallow the pride and to reach out to Him or to reach out to the people that He surrounded you with, family and friends.

We need to deal with the pride issue where the only pride we have, the only thing we boast about is God. Are there going to be times we fail? Yes. But that doesn't mean you're a failure. Are there going to be times when we're going to feel pretty bad about ourselves? Yeah. But that doesn't mean you're worthless. You see, we need to stop basing our self worth on what we feel and base it on what God says. We need to start determining our value on the value God ascribes to us. If we base our self worth on how we feel, it's going to be a roller coaster ride. There are going to be days where everything is going to be going well in our life and we're going to feel really good about ourselves. And then there's going to be those times when the bottom's going to fall out. There's going to be those tough times, those difficult times, and then you're going to feel worthless and you're going to feel like a failure. Get off the roller coaster ride and start focusing on what God says about you. Start focusing on the value God has placed upon you.

In fact, let's go all the way back to the beginning. We read about creation a few moments ago. In Genesis 2, God describes the creation of mankind. He says, “The Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life and the man became a living being.” Now if you remember the creation account, this is different than the rest of creation. When God said He wanted to have day and night, He said, “Let there be light.” There was light. When God decided He wanted animals, He said, “Let there be animals.” And there were animals. “Let there be fish in the sea.” There was fish in the sea. “Let there be birds in the air.” Boom. There were birds in the air. Just simply by Him speaking, things came into being. He could have easily said, “Let there be mankind,” and there would be mankind. But God didn't. God took time. God formed man out of the dust of the ground. God gave him the breath of life. God made human beings different from all the rest of creation. The rest of creation God called into being but not you and I. He gave us the breath of life. He gave us a soul and a spirit. He gave mankind dominion over the rest of creation. In fact, all of creation was made, why? For mankind. Adam and Eve were his crowning achievement. That's how important human beings are to God.

You're just as important as the first human beings he formed, Adam and Eve. Scripture tells us and we read about it a few moments ago in

Psalm 139, “God even shaped and formed you in your mother's womb, for you created my inmost being. You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” That means God designed and made each one of you. Every human being that is on this planet, that has ever lived or will live, God knows them better than they know themself, and God designed and created them. There aren't accidents with God. There is no happenstance with God. You were made on purpose. You were created for a purpose. That's the kind of value God places on you. And if God made you, you know God doesn't make mistakes. God doesn't make failures. God doesn't make something which is worthless and God made you.

Not only did God create us, but God gives us the privilege of calling us His children. Did you catch that in 1 John? He calls us His children. How great is the love the Father has lavished upon up that we should be called Children of God, that God would consider us His children. And not only that but that God would reclaim us as His children. All of mankind walked away from being His sons and daughters. When Adam and Eve rebelled and each and every one of us rebel, when we turn our back on God, when we're sinful against God, and yet God reached out and he'd reclaim us to make sure we would be His children again. We witnessed it this morning through the waters of baptism. Both Mom and daughter were claimed as daughters of God, claimed as His children. And each one of us, when we were baptized, God claims us as His children.

God was so serious about making you His child. God considers you of such great worth that He was willing to pay any price for you. The Father was willing to give up a son. The Son was willing to lay down His life. That's how valuable you are to God. That God would send His Son into our world knowing He would die. That Jesus would come and face the cross knowing the pain and the agony He would go through but not considering that worth counting anything because He wanted to reclaim you as His brother and sister, because the Father wanted you as His son and daughter. That's the value God places upon you.

Now if you think about that for a moment, how disrespectful of God it is when we consider ourselves worthless when God considers us priceless. How disrespectful of God when we would consider ourselves worthless when God considers you priceless. Build on that. See yourself in a new light. Yes, you'll fail. Yes, you'll sin. But God has placed such a high value on you and God has such a deep love for you. And that can never be taken away. No decisions, no sins, nothing can ever take that away from you. We need to find strength in the value God places upon us, especially during tough times when we're facing difficulties we couldn't imagine, when we start blaming ourselves and thinking that we're worthless, we need to focus back on what God says about us when you know you have a Father in heaven who loves you, when you know you have a Father who wants you as His child, when you know you have a brother who was willing to lay down His life for you, when you know God has done all of this and placed such a high value on you, then you know beyond a shadow of a doubt, there's nothing, no situation you cannot face. Because you know God is going to face it with you.

St. Paul put it this way in Philippians, “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” I can face every situation, all adversity through Jesus because of the strength He gives me.

Whatever you're living through right now, and I know some of you have some really tough times, no matter how you're feeling right now, know you can face the future in the power and the strength of God. Remember how valuable you are to God. There may be times you feel you fail, but you're not a failure. There may be times when you feel pretty worthless. It's at those times, remember, God considers you priceless. Amen.

Copyright 2005 Gloria Dei Lutheran Church