A Foyer Filled with Gentleness and Goodness

Pastor Burcham's Sermon

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Grace, mercy, and peace to you from God our Father and our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen.

In the Washington Post , they had a story about remodeling homes and it had this to say about the foyer of a home. It says, “The foyer has an oversized importance in a house considering that it's often only a small space behind the front door. Because it's the first part of the indoors that a guest sees, a foyer makes a statement about the kind of house that lies beyond and its owners. And for the people who come through the door everyday, the foyer can either be a welcoming transition home or a messy, stressful, harried one.”

I'd never given that much thought to the foyer before. It just seemed like the place where I came into the house. But it seems the foyer has extreme importance as far as the message you give to guests and even to yourself when you come home. The foyer, and I think it goes beyond the way it's decorated or the furniture that might be there, but somehow the foyer sort of sets the mood or the tone or the atmosphere of the home you're entering into. It tells you something about the people who live there, the character of the house. It tells you even a little bit about the kind of relationships that are enjoyed in that house. The foyer sort of sets the tone for the rest of the rooms in the house.

And that's why this morning, as we continue on looking at God's divine design, we look at the home He would have us live in, the home He would like for us to enjoy. We start at the foyer. That is, we enter into the front door. And what is the overarching atmosphere that should be in our homes? What should be that tone that goes throughout room to room? What should sort of set the pace for how relationships are established between family members?

In God's divine design, the atmosphere of His house would be one of a positive and a loving atmosphere. And that's why God's foyer is filled with gentleness and goodness that then permeates through the whole house. That's God's house and how He's designed it. I wonder when folks come into our homes, what impression do they get? What do people see when they open up the front door and walk into the foyer of your home? What does it tell them about the character of the home, the relationships that are going on between family members? What does it do for you when you come home? As you open up the door and step inside, is it a welcoming transition home or is it sort of messy and stressful and chaotic?

Now none of us want to believe that and certainly none of us want to convey that to other people who come into our homes. All of us are good at putting on a front so, when people come in, we want them to believe our home is a wonderful place, that nary a discouraging word is spoken in the walls of our home, and every family member gets along beautifully with every other family member. We are the model family and this is the model home and this is a wonderful place for you to be. But you haven't bought it and neither have they.

Let's think about some of the homes we've been in and specifically some of the foyers maybe you've walked through. They may be large foyers or they may be nothing more than just opening the door and stepping inside and, all of a sudden, it turns into the living room. But yet, each foyer says something about a home. Have you ever stepped into a foyer that just seemed cold? You really couldn't put your finger on why it seemed cold. Everything in it kind of looked like a magazine. Everything was put in place. It looked like they copied something out of Better Homes and Gardens or Midwest Living and the decorations were beautiful. The wall is the exact color it should be. The furniture is perfectly matched. Everything is in place. But as you walk into that, it seems a little cold. It seems a little sterile. It doesn't seem welcoming or warm. You're not sure whether you should step on the marble or not and maybe you should take your shoes off, but you don't really know. And you feel just a little bit uncomfortable. Have you been in a foyer like that, kind of cold and sterile? You wonder what the relationships in the home are then. I wonder if the relationships in the home are the same way. They put on a good face, but there's really no substance to it. Everything looks wonderful. It looks picture perfect on the outside, but the relationships happening between family members are a little bit cold. They're cordial to one another. They're polite to one another, but it doesn't go any further than that. Good mornings are spoken and good nights are said but really nothing more happens beyond that. There's not a lot of depth to the relationship. It's kind of cold and sterile.

Maybe you've been in the utilitarian foyer, as I call it. The utilitarian foyer means that when you walk in, you realize you're in a home that is put in order. You know that from the very moment you step in. Order is the day. Organized to the hilt. You walk in and you see the little hooks lined up on the wall with the name of each child above it so they know exactly where to put their coat. There's a specific rug you know you're supposed to be standing on. There's another rug to the side you know you're supposed to take your shoes off and place them there. This is a home that has structure. This is a home that has order. Everything has a place, and there's a place for everything in this home. And so it is with the relationships in that home. Everyone has a job, and everyone best do that job. Everyone has a role in the family, and they better live up to the role they have in that family. People better tow the line. They better fly right. And if they don't, there are consequences to pay for that because we're going to put order back into our life, structure back into our home. Utilitarian kind of foyer. Have you been in one like that?

Maybe you've stepped into a house that, there's no other way of describing it besides dark, foreboding. As the door closes behind you, the room closes in on you. You're not sure why, but you just have a bad sense about you as you step into the home. You can't point to anything specific on the wall, but yet there's a heaviness in the air. It feels like it could be cut with a knife. There's malice in the air. You can tell, in this home, there's a lot of anger. There are a lot of high emotions in this place. Disagreements, conflicts? Those are handled by yelling matches. And whoever can impose their will on the other family member, they win the day. It's a dark, foreboding, angry-filled home.

One last one. It's the foyer that's filled with chaos. If you haven't seen it, come to my house on Wednesday night. No, no, no. It's the one where you open the front door, but you can't open the front door because there's so much stuff piled around. So you're pushing stuff out of the way as you try to get in. And you're not sure where to step because there is no place to step. There's clothing over here and there are toys over there and there are books over here and a backpack. And you immediately know this is a house of chaos and chaos is the order of the day. Everyone just sort of leaves things wherever they want to be left. There's no discipline in this home. There is no idea of what's right and what's wrong. Family members walk all over each other, unconcerned for one another, only concerned about themselves and taking care of themselves, never doing anything for someone else. It's a chaotic house.

Have you seen any of these foyers? Maybe a combination of them? Maybe there's one I haven't mentioned. Have you gone into those homes and felt that kind of atmosphere that just sort of permeated every room you were in. And just from the foyer, you could tell something about the character of the people who lived there, something about the relationships that were happening. Have you been in a home like that? Could it be your home? Could parts of it be yours, parts of it be mine?

When you walk in the door, is it a welcome transition home or, more times than not, is it a messy, stressful, harried one? Are you happy with the atmosphere in your home? Is it the kind of tone God wants for your home? Maybe it's time to remodel. Maybe it's time to remodel the foyer and get things right. Maybe it's time to start designing the foyer according to God's plan. Because God desires, in our home, the atmosphere, the tone, would be one of positive and loving relationships and that positive, loving attitude would be in all of the rooms. It would just sort of permeate every space in the house and it would be a characteristic of all of the relationships.

It's time to have our foyer designed by God, a foyer filled with gentleness and goodness. You see, when God designs a home for us, He designs it around the fruits of the spirit. If you were here last week, you remember from Galatians 5:22 and 23, St. Paul describes for us the fruits of the spirit, that is, when we come to faith and Jesus is our Savior and the Holy Spirit lives in our heart, much in the same way Carter received the Holy Spirit this morning and now that spirit lives in his heart, a result of that, a result of our relationship with God, that saving relationship, a result of the spirit living within our heart is that then there are certain fruits of the spirit, that is, there are just sort of natural results that come from that. There is a natural way in which we respond to God's love. So St. Paul says it's the fruits of the spirit, love, joy, peace, gentleness, kindness, goodness, self control, those are the attributes of a Christian. Those are the attributes of a believer. We know those don't come to us naturally. Without God and without a relationship with Christ, those are not the things that come to us naturally. But because of the gift of faith, because God has called us into a relationship with Him, then those fruits of the spirit, those attributes become part of our life.

I guess what I'm saying is if you want to remodel your foyer and if you want to change the mood in your house, there's only one way it's going to be accomplished and that's through Christ. You know every remodeling job is expensive, right? No matter how much your husband says, “This won't cost much, Honey.” You don't do that in your house? Okay. Now I'm guilty. Every remodeling job is expensive. If you're going to remodel your foyer, it's going to be expensive. The good news is Jesus already paid the price. He paid for all the anger, all the malice. He paid for the shallow relationships. He paid for when we walk all over other people and disregard them. He paid for all the chaos. He paid the debt through the blood He shed upon the cross and now, because He's paid the debt, He empowers you with His spirit and that spirit enables you to have a home that's designed by Him, a home that begins at the foyer, one that's filled with gentleness and goodness. Those are the two fruits of the spirit that really set the tone for the rest of the house. They're the ones that set the atmosphere of being positive and loving. Gentleness. Gentleness really is an attitude. It's a way in which we approach life. We approach it with gentleness and kindness. But when I say gentleness, when scripture describes gentleness, don't get the wrong idea. Don't think being gentle means you become the floor mat, that everyone can just walk all over you. Don't think that because of gentleness permeating the home, that means there is no discipline in this home. That doesn't mean that everybody does whatever they want and there's no right or wrong and there's never a correction being made for fear we might come off as being harsh or angry. Oh, no, no. Gentleness describes the way in which we handle them. Because every home needs discipline, and every person needs to be corrected at one time or another. Children need to know what's right and what's wrong, what's acceptable and unacceptable. Parents need to be reminded to respect their children. Spouses will get into arguments and have conflicts. That's just reality. Gentleness doesn't say you ignore all of that. Gentleness says this is how you handle that. You don't handle it with harsh words. You don't handle it with yelling matches. You don't handle it with anger but in gentleness and in love. That's how you face those challenges. That's how you make the correction. You see, gentleness doesn't come out of weakness. It comes out of strength, the strength we have in Christ. It comes out in how we approach someone else. We don't correct somebody else in weakness through anger or through harsh words but through strength of being able to be self controlled and to be gentle with that person, gently showing them this is right.

It's a foyer that's filled with goodness. It goes hand in hand with gentleness. Goodness means there is a zeal for what is right, a zeal for what is good, a zeal for what is proper. It means a home that has goodness in it has a zeal for doing what is good and pleasing and right. It's a home in which family members trust each other. It's a home in which there is honest and open communication between family members because, in their zeal for goodness and their zeal for honesty and truthfulness, family members will approach one another. They won't ignore the things happening between them. And instead of letting all these unresolved issues build up in a relationship until there's a wall between you and your spouse, between you and children, a home that has a zeal for goodness, a zeal for honesty and truthfulness and trust, that's a home in which family members approach one another and, in gentleness and love, they talk to one another. It's a home in which people will hear things they don't want to hear but they need to hear. The family members care so much about each other, they'll tell another family member. It may not be what they want to hear, but it's what they need to hear. And it's done in genuineness and love and honesty. That builds for a home that has this atmosphere of trust. Because if you're willing to tell somebody something you know they're not going to like and that person knows you'll be honest with them in all things, it's a home where parents can talk to their children about the hard issues, where children can approach their parents and know they won't be met with anger or harshness but with gentleness and love. It's a home where the spouses talk to each other and there are never angry words but there are honest words. The words may hurt, but the love is behind it so the relationship grows stronger. That's a home built with goodness. And that's to permeate in all the rooms, the kitchen, the living room, everywhere, that kind of positive, loving atmosphere.

The house God has designed has a foyer that's filled with goodness and gentleness. When guests come into your home, it's like a breath of fresh air as they sense that atmosphere throughout the whole home. It's the home, when you open the front door, it's not stressful or chaotic but it's a welcome transition home. That's a home designed by God. Amen.

Copyright 2005 Gloria Dei Lutheran Church